Saturday, December 26, 2009

Hooker Boots


Ive been amazed at the recent popularity of what Ive always called hooker boots. Ive seen seemingly normal homely women rock this look as well as super hot girls. I have to admit that I find it really funny either way.

Here is an example from yesterday's(xmas) espn sportscenter.


Hannah Storm looks like she is going to a halloween themed swingers club, not give us an injury update. In this case its not just the boots, but the boots are the constant. I always thought those were for walking the streets of Mt Adams at night.

I guess the funny thing to me is that girls rock this look when they are trying to dress up a little. My grandma would call that "dressing down". And the fact that its really mainstream clothing now. Hell even Sara Palin is hip.



And Tyra Banks,



I had a date recently(Im serious stop laughing) where the girl wore these kind of like brown riding pants with the hooker boots. It was hilarious. Of course as men, we are taught to believe that the ego of a woman is a very fragile thing. So we can never rip on a womans clothes.....to her face. Thus, I didnt laugh at this womans idea of looking "nice".



Now if you are woman you are thinking, "those arent hooker boots. Hooker boots have a longer heel and go to at least the knees". Whatever you want to tell yourself is cool with me. You are just acknowledging that you are walking a fine line. Just one step closer to realizing the truth. Plus its STRIPPER boots that have the giant heel. Not hooker boots. Big difference.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Rocking your socks off

One of my guitar students Randy, is in a band that plays out pretty frequently. Canned Under Authority

The played a show last friday at the northside tavern. I missed this last one, but he has some video. Enjoy the fruits of my labors..........
(Randy is on the right of the singer playing the reddish sunburst PRS I helped him pick out)





And the show stopper.........

Saturday, December 19, 2009

More thoughts on 15.......

an excerpt from an e-mail i sent to a friend about Chris Henry;

As a fan of the Underdog in general, Im am so pissed about 15. Ive always been a guy drawn to the enigmatic player like Henry. Example: one of my favorite NBA players is Glen "Big Baby" Davis. Or Josh Hamilton in the MLB. Guys that are super talented, but surprise me with their other activities. I remember how stoked I was when they brought him back, just because it added that kind of player to my hometown team.

The way Henry died is so f'ing weird. Did he kill himself, as witnesses are saying? Was he killed as a result of his girls driving? Did the Bengals let him down? Why didn't he have a Johnny Narron like Josh Hamilton to keep things like this from happening?



My take is this
People keep saying that he had distanced himself from the bad influences in his life. But has anyone considered that this girl was the bad influence this whole time? "He stayed in and spent time with his family instead of partying and hanging with his old crew" Maybe that bitch is crazy. I mean, we have all dated chicks that are crazy and dangerous to be around. That's my theory, that he would still be alive if he had stayed away from crazy bitches, mother of your children or not.


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Possible crazy bitch aside,Ill always remember games against the Steelers when Henry just took over. You see it allot more in the NBA and college sports, a player taking a game over. Chris Henry could do that.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Remembering Chris Henry

I dont know what happened. I wasnt there. All I know is one of my favorite enigma type players is gone forever. Here are a few highlights from his life on, and off the field.

Who can forget the time that he got blasted by a local judge?


How about the time he got physical with a Steelers db and a ref?


Or how about the time that an old man knocked Henry the fuck out?


Seriously though, the guy could ball. I always root for the underdog, so Chris Henry was always my dude. Here are the real highlights. Sorry about the obnoxious rap music.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Ricky Gervais on 60 minutes


Watch CBS News Videos Online

Not nearly as funny or insightful as I thought it would be. Then again, 60 minutes sucks balls. All except for Andy Rooney. "You ever wonder why........"

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Rickey Gervais teaches Elmo about necrophelia

It was 40 years ago today that Sesame Street first aired. In tribute, here is Ricky Gervais teching Elmo about charity and necrophelia..........

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Big Baby wants to play football




From PFT

"Big Baby" wants to play football
Posted by Mike Florio on November 5, 2009 2:50 PM ET
LeBron James isn't the only NBA player who muses about playing pro football.

Glen "Big Baby" Davis of the Celtics is now saying he'd like to eventually trade in his green uniform for the ability to run on some fake green grass.

"I will try it," Davis recently told ESPN The Magazine. "When I become an All-Star in the NBA, when I become a great player in the NBA, then I'll try football." (Some might say that this means he'll never play football.)

In high school, the oversized but athletic Davis played defensive end, defensive tackle, and tailback. So what position would he want to play at the pro level?

"It don't matter," he said. "I just want to play."



At six feet, nine inches tall and nearly 290 pounds, his options likely would be limited to something involving a fairly large face mask.

Davis currently is expected to miss six weeks after breaking his thumb during a fight with a childhood friend. He was suspended by the team.

"I was defending myself," Davis said last week. "I wasn't just fighting. I feel like I let my team down by breaking my hand. I let my team down trying to defend myself. I have to make better decisions on how I choose my friends."

But, Glen, if you want to play in the NFL, choosing friends poorly and then continuing to associate with them after becoming an adult is part of the gig.
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How awesome would it be to have an incoherent, shirtless Glenn Davis on the Bengals. I am in. He can play quarterback if he wants. Can you imagine how funny that would be.

This of course gives me a reason to post some of my all time favorite clips. Disney laaaaaaaaand. And Shirtless celebrating. And lets not forget buzzer beater/lighting up kids on the sideline.






And here is Glenn being a real "Big Baby' last year after he got a new asshole from KG.

My favorite player by far........

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Man and women play same guitar.....better than I do.



Okay. So thats pretty amazing. Im thinking of giving up the guitar after watching these maniacs. The parts that make me really want to quit are the ones where they are each playing a hand. So one is picking and the other fretting. Anyone else jealous?

NBA in cleveland









This kid sitting next to us was comepletely out of hand. Here he is during a time out.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

There is definatetly something strange in the neighborhood......



One of these days, I am going to get a laptop capable of this kind of goofyness. Look out, because on that day, Ill be covering the King of the Hill theme.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

NBA begins!



I am going to game 1 in cleveland. We will definately be going to disney laaaaaaaaaaaand And we will definately be saying hi to mickey mouse. Im going to ride the kiddie rides. Dont know if my dude is down for that.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Victory for Freedom

I usually dont get excited one way or another when it comes to politics. However today something great has finally happened. Today the white house anounced that the federal govt's policy on medical marijuana has changed. They will no longer be charging people with federal violations when they are following state law. Theyve finally realized they have more important things to do.

Just to clear up what this means. As of now some states have legalized medical marijuana, but its still against federal law. So patients and dispenseries were getting raided by the DEA even though they are following state law. Now, the white house says that will stop.

Just to clear something up though. I am not sick. So I would not lie about that just to smoke legally. I just think this is step in the right direction. In a world where its legal to do heroin(morphine) and cocaine(cocaine sulfate) if a doctor says its ok, why cant people get baked(medical marijuana)?

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Adventures in drinking



As a silent film this is better than any Buster Keaton movie.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Friday, October 16, 2009

NFL picks week 6


Texans@Bengals
Look for the Bengals to have a breakout offensive game, building a lead and holding it.The Texans are a dangerous team, but the Bengals will man-handle them in the trenches.
Bengals win at home.

Ravens@Vikings
After a division loss at home, the Ravens are in a pickle. Things are starting to go wrong. Future HOFamers are getting fined for losing their cool. The Vikings are a lock in this game.
Vikings win at home.

Cardinals@Seahawks
Birds vs birds. I hate birds. I give the Hawks the edge here. Homefield is big in Seattle.
Seahawks win at home.

Bears@Falcons
This is a tough one. Both teams are great. Should be a good one.
Bears win on the road.

Upset pick of the week

My Giants@Saints
This should be the best game of the week. Could be a shootout. But in the end, good defense will win this one.
Giants win on the road.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Dolemite yourself.


This site is so awesome. Havent you ever wanted to be blaxploited? Here's what I came up with. I take after my personal hero, Dolemite......muthafucka!





Hallelujah!

Hallelujah!

Monday, October 12, 2009

On the ground......



My laptop was giving me all kinds of problems getting this video up. What do you think laptop? You think Im some kind of chump that needs your screen and keyboard? I threw it on the ground!(after I hit: save post) I threw it on the ground!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

NFL picks week 5



Im 11-11 going into this week. So far so good.
Lets start with the easiest pick of the week.
Raiders@Giants
Even without Eli, the Giants will spank the Raiders in NY. It is written. Either way, a first round pick will be the QB for both teams. David Carr or Eli Manning, and the fat and shitty JaMarcus Russel.
Giants win at home.

Steelers@Lions
Whoa. Did you see the Steelers almost give it up late last week. Scary for Steeler nation. The Lions are still a joke.
Steelers win on the road.

Bengals@Ravens
This game is going to be hard to watch. I think the Bengals will give B'more a game, but I just cant see them winning this one. Look for Joe Flacco to demoralize the Bengals defense.(I hope not)
Ravens win at home.

Patriots@Broncos
Something tells me the Broncos run of luck is about to end. This should be a great game to watch the playcalling. Student vs teacher. Teacher wins.
Patriots win on the road.

Colts@Titans
This one is easy too. The Titans cant get it together after their brutal defeat weak one at the hands of the Steelers. They can not get it together. 0-5 for the Titans.
Colts win on the road.

Upset pick of the week.

Browns@Bills
I think cleveland is headed in the right direction. Ditching WR Braylon Edwards for a journey man reciever was a great move. I think they will start putting together drives with much more sure handed recievers. The Bills are just terrible. I hope TO pulls a TO and flips out. The countdown has begun.
Browns win on the road.


Epic 3-way cat battle


3 cats. 3 totally different strategies. The cat in the middle for example is biting the meat and licking the blood in an effort to psyche out his opponents. The cat on the left just locks in on the third cat. He gets a great idea though trying to block the airways with his paw. It backfires unfortunately. He loses his cool and lashes out in frustration. Very unprofessional. The third cat probably wins. His concentration is unmatched by any cat Ive ever see. Coupled with his athleticism he outlasts the others. Truly an battle for the ages. I really hope there are more of these. Maybe epic 3-way chicken breast cage match next week. Ill work on setting that up.

Donut-Burger best suicide option?



This guy needs to calm the fuck down. Think about it. Its a burger on a donut.And not just any donut a krispy kreme donut. Thats the best kind. This guy is acting like hes pearing into the heart of evil calling it " a sign of the apacolypse. Like the stupid burger has bad intentions. "Just look at it."
So then he starts listing ways of offing yourself and mentions shooting at the police so they will kill you. Real nice man. That awful suggestion probably caused at least one or two suicides-by-cop today.
Its not even gross. Who hasnt been at a fair and slammed a burger and some funnel cake in between brews. Its the same thing dude, so calm it down.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Randomness 10-6

Lets start with this whole Erin Andrews alleged voyeur. I still think its a plot by Andrews for publicity. What celebrity books their hotel room under their real name? I think Ray Maualaluga agrees with me.

Dude, some guy built a real Batmobile.


This is so funny. Really, you should take the time to read it. Its some correspondence between a tennent and a landlord. The tennent is hilarious and the landlord doesnt appreciate his comic genius.

This site looks like its from the mid 90s. But its still awesome. Have you heard of Jews for Jesus? Well this is Klingons for Christ.

I think if you memorized this list of jokes, you could kill in any situation.

John Thorton has thoughts on the Bengals. Check out the great comments section. No racists or morons.


Matt Bowen has brought back his Scheme Sessions. This is so great for those of us that have never played football. This week he explains the zone-blitz.

What would it be like when you grew up, your parents owned a porno shop.....


The Giants win.......AGAIN! There are so badass. Even the President is a Giants fan.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

NFL Picks 10-3


Today is my sisters birthday. Happy bday sis. You rule.

Also, Id like to welcome Amy H. Thanks for joingin the "real" darkside.

Now on to the pics. Sorry not a very pretty post, but I dont have time to shine it up.

The first game is the Sunday night game. Chargers at Steelers. You have to go with pitt here. Theey are just a better team playing at home.
Steelers win

Jets at Saints.
The Jets defense is good, but not that good. New Orleans will score and score and score again.
Saints win.

My Giants @ KC Chiefs. This is the definition of "trap" game. However, my G-men dont fall into traps so they win.....big.
Giants win on the road.

Bengals at Browns. Once again, here is a trap. This Bengals team is different. Watch them smash the hopes and dreams of Browns fans to little bits.
Bengals win big.

Upset of the week


Ravens@Patriots
Look out Pats. The AFC is about to represent. This may the game of the week as far as entertainment value. I think the Ravens are going to get to the Superbowl this year. They are fantastic.
Ravens win on the road.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Randomness 9-30

Have you ever wondered what it would be like if Paperboy was real?


This made me laugh really hard. Usually, these cat videos are only funny to the people who filmed them. This is obviously an exception.



I guess this comeplete bullshit story still has legs. Does anyone still belive this? I never did.

Andre Smith is still in a boot. They may need his manboobs later in the season.







Chad is wearing pink.



Here is a great documentary about the unknown world of commercial crooning. Before the days of radio and television.......




Troy Polamalu's rehab is not going well.

The new stadium in Dallas has some awesome new features. Including, the Emmitt Smith simulator and a tribute honoring the early 90's Cowboys Starter Jacket.


















The History channel has picked up a few "reality" series. One about cutting random objects in half to see whats inside. Sure to be riveting television. BTW, is a reality show, any show that uses hand-held cameras? Stupid genre title.

To some people, anything is a canvas.

Hanging at GABP



I went to the Reds game on tuesday. They won. Jay Bruce hit two dingers. I have some pictures from the game. I need your help with one.
The view from the moondeck.

We spotted this guy right next to us. He begs the question, is it ever ok for a guy to wear ugs?

The answer is of course no. What made this guys boots such flagrant violation of manhood? His girl was wearing them too. That in itself is normal, but not in combination with the boyfriend UGS. Its like he is trying to be her. Wierd.

I admit they look comfortable, but so does a turbin. You dont see me wrapping my head up do you? This is really bad.

Here I am expressing my discust.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Drumming to classical music



This guy is a badass. Man he must have spent a long time working on that. Im looking forward to his take on The Nutcracker when xmas rolls around.

Cartoon theme song roundup

Which one of these cartoon theme song parodies is better?
The Jetsons "hates his wife"


Or Ducktales "get to the ER before his brain swells ooh ooh ooh"


I have to go with Ducktales. I crap myself everytime I see it. It also has staying power. It gets stuck in your head. It really has it all.

Delante's Inferno

Damn. You arent going to belive this one. One of my favorite NBA players is busted for weapons posession. Damn.

Of course we all know Delante from his great play off the bench for Cleveland and also for his hilarious soundbites. For example: Here he is harrassing a rookie that forgot his Krispie-Kremes.

There is so much great stuff in that clip. "Snitches get stitches" kills me everytime.

Okay so according to the worldwide leader, Delante was near his home in Maryland and cut off a police officer in his Spyder motorcycle. A Syder looks like this.

The police found 2 handguns on West and a shotgun in a guitar case. Im dead serious. I mean Delante, "how playa is that?". Youre thinking, "whats he need that much firepower for?" Look at the picture of his ride one more time. Any self-respecting person would immediately try to kill anyone riding that thing. I know when I roll out on my 3-wheeler, I always roll out strapped. Id be scared not to.

Delante is one of my favorite players, but hes boring compared to nu,ber 1 on my list.................Big Baby.

Randomness 9-24

Pee-wee is back! Did you see him on Jay Leno? I dont blame you for not knowing or watching. Jay Leno is the worst. I have to admit I dont think PW was that funny. However, Id still go see his stage show. That dude used to kill me as a kid.

Im not really sure what the whole salad thing was about. But any momentum that PW picked up fizzeled when part of the stage fell. I prefer to remember him like this.





This is crazy story about Kings Island. Apperently they have a scene in their annual Fearfest that strongly resembles the recent murder of one Steve McNair. Dirty pool old man, dirty pool.

The Rock and Roll HOF is has its list of nominees out. My mortal locks include, Genesis, Red Hot Chili Peppers, and Jummy Cliff.

Which universe has the hottest women? Star Trek or the Joss Whedon? I have to admit, I fell in love with Ashley Judd in that episode of Star Trek TNG she did. Brunnets kill blonds everytime in my book anyway.

A compilation of photos from the World Beard and Mustache championship. Which one is your favorite?

Boris Yeltson was a drunk according to Bill Clinton. This article is hilarious. Its highlights from hours of interviews with Clinton about his presidency. There are some great moments in here. Like Boris in his underwear outside the whitehouse trying to hail a cab.

For some reason this morning my computer is giving me all kinds of problems. Everytime I try to put a picture up on here, IE shuts down because of an error. I wish I could just shut down and start over when I fuck up.

The Watchmen ultimate, rip you off just in time for xmas,edition is out. I agree with this guy. I mean I almost peed my pants in the theater it was so long. Now you want to make an extended edition so I can pee in my pants at home. I guess I could just pause it, but thats too much work.

So the Bengals play the Steelers this weekend. Ill have my NFL picks up later. Im 6-5 this season! Here are some thoughts from the stool on Mike Tomlin's wish to be Bill Belicheck. (Also go here to see the gratuitous fat chick steelers fan photo)

Hines Ward is also talking shit.

The Reds are pounding out a decent end of the season. It means nothing, but Im going to one last game next week. Wednesday against the Cards, Ill be in the Moondeck screaming at some Sr Louis outfielders. (Here is where id put a picture of myself screaming)

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Ricky Gervais on Conan O'Brien


This was way too funny not to post. I love his apology after dumping a gallon of water on Conan's head. I freaking love Rickey Gervais. The Office (british) is one of the funniest shows Ive ever watched. His use of the non sequitur is unmatched. Here are a few jems from his the Office and Extras.
This one has a Star Trek tie in. Capt Picard is hilarious in this one.

My Netflix Queue 9-22











Im not sure how many of you subscribe to Netflix. If you are still renting movies from a store, you need to stop. Really. Its such a rip off compared to Netflix. Plus the watch it now option is so cool. Im not one to pimp some product, so you know its great.

So, every once in awhile, I will share with you whats been showing up in my red envelopes.

The first movie Id like to review is apropriately named, American Movie. Its a documentary that follows the making of a low, low , low budget horror film. The man making the movie and his friend are unexpectedly charismatic. I mean, this is what they look like.

You are immediately sucked into their struggles to finish the short film Coven(pronounced with a long o). Its a really funny and entertaining doc, with tons of heart. Who cant identify with the underdog? I recomend it.

I am a big Star Trek fan. Im not ashamed to admit it. What I am ashamed to admit is that I watched the William Shatner series Invasion Iowa.

Its a "reality" show where William Shatner and a host of characters show up in a small town in Iowa and film a fake movie. The premise is pretty mean. They cast a bunch of the unsuspecting towns people in the shitty shitty movie written and directed by Shatner. It was really funny for brief moments, just because of the crazy situations the crew manipulates into occuring. Plus the actors he cast for his crew were pretty great. That said, overall it was terrible. But so is Star Trek and I love that. I do not recomend this one.

The last one is a classic I just recieved today. Ive seen this one before, but its worth many viewings. Its the movie adaptation of the play Glenngary Glennross. First of all the cast is makes the Oceans movies look like American Movie. You got, Al Pacino, Jack Lemmon, Ed Harris, Alan Arkin, and the Alec Baldwins best performance of all time. Set in a cold call sales office, it follows the cut throat world of sales. Jack Lemmon is awesome as a desperate and pathetic salesman just trying to get by. When Alec Baldwin, the boss, shows up an proposes a sales contest, the shit hits the fan. Tremendous, I highly recomend this one.





Randomness 9-22

These posts will be just what you think they are. Random as hell.

I am still trying to figure out how to put videos on here, so bear with me here.

What a weekend of football. Holy shit it was great. Of course the Bengals upset was tremendous, but I was more impressed with the Giants comeback win over the Cowboys.

I am a big fan of the Big Lebowski. If youve never seen thst movie, you have issues. Anyway, they are talking about a sequel. Really? Not needed and could be a disaster. I say let a classic be.

Ever wonder what the best Sci-fi showers scenes are? Me either, but that doesnt stop me from appreciating the first one on this list.

The Milton Bradley experiment is over in Chicago. As a Reds fan, all I can say is.....Dammit!

Star Wars and Baseball? They would have a strange child.

I think I got the video right. This is rminds me of some Tom Green shit. That guy kills me. These golfers want to kill the space program.


At some point, x-Bengal John Thornton will share his thoughts on the weekend that was in the NFL.

Monday, September 21, 2009

The world of the Babylonian

Welcome to my blog.





Here you will find my musings on many subjects. Mainly sports oriented, but I have oppinions on all subjects from music to life. I always try to keep it light.

Ive been blogging on a different site for awhile now. Im moving here because I couldnt get any traffic on the old site. Im hoping to build a little following here. So lets get it started with a few facts about the Babylonian.

I root for all of the Cincinnati teams. Bengals, Reds, UC, and XU. Im kind of a transendental sorst fan. I dont let things upset me. I only let them excite me.

I am also a big NY Giants fan. I am not from New York, I just started following them in Tiki's last year. Been a fan ever since. Theyve brought me a bunch of playoff apearences and a SuperBowl win.

I am a music lover. I play a few instruments like guitar, bass, and drums. I also teach lessons in these instruments on the weekends. Its the most challenging/rewarding thing Ive ever done.

Okay, that was a lame intro. But now you know a little about me(like you care). Lame! Lame! Lame!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0VGcbnOaQ4